luckily
a new cuisine
has arrived
text by FRANÇOIS SIMON
Haute cuisine is a world that twists your head off, jolts you awake in the middle of the night. A lurking threat haunts a large majority of chefs: the loss of a Michelin star. Earning it in the first place is fine, almost child’s play if you know the ways and customs of the gray-suited inspectors. Really, you just need to get the algorithms and the data right, master the art of cooking squab, hire a bilingual maître d’, tweeze some kiwis, and put a spell on the critics. And, of course, locate all excessively discreet solitary patrons, secure their table perimeter like a SWAT team surrounding a madman, and select your finest langoustines. Then, pretend not to have spotted the guidebook cop.
Michelin’s praise song is predictable because Michelin is a kind of cult, with all its mystic silence and old-fashioned obsessions. If you watch the award ceremony (a must-see event — it’s in February) you immediately pick up on Michelin’s totalitarian tendencies in the rituals of this impeccably dressed coterie of stovepipe hats and half-closed eyelids. Look closely: whereas cooking is not uncommonly practiced by women, here it’s all men. At last year’s ceremony, the only women in attendance were there either to stand in high heels or serve as assistants. That’s the way it is. Because the world of haute cuisine (like that of dance or football) is about earning your keep, working hard, pushing your limits. Simply imagine a kitchen in the middle of a service… The quest for a Michelin star has made this a pitiless and brutal world. Though the newer generations have recognized the necessity of softening things up a little in this mess, gastronomical kitchens are still packed to the gills with testosterone. A Michelin star — that’s the obsession that drives you mad if the fish à la nacre is a bit cloudy. And don’t forget the impatient banks, the unpaid suppliers, the waiting clients, the watching guidebook critics, the leading competitors, the complaining neighbors. Now you understand why a chef is like a battered zombie, weeping hot tears as his family life goes to pieces and his damned star hangs over his head like a water droplet above a tortured prisoner. The Michelin Guide orchestrates all of this with a sadism worthy of François Truffaut’s The Wild Child (1970). People still remember that striking scene in which the hairy little rascal comes face-to-face with the learned doctor who teaches him a lesson about injustice. “Two plus two?” asks the instructor. “Four,” answers the child (played by Jean-Pierre Cargol, the nephew of Manitas de Plata). And bam, a whack on the young lad’s nose.
Michelin regularly does this sort of thing, suddenly stripping magnificent chefs of their amply deserved, fabulously Michelined star (Bruno Cirino at the Hostellerie Jérôme, in La Turbie, comes to mind, as well as Gérard Besson in Paris). This wreaks havoc on the lives of these heroes of the salamander grill, who now have to deal with nasty comments from competitors, kiss-ass condolences from colleagues, and nothing at all from former patrons, who have already taken a flying leap at a new restaurant.
Michelin made this profession stand tall by giving cooks a sublime trinket to reach for — a star. But it also stripped the culinary world of much of its poetry by harshly curbing the new generation of bistronomy, which only received its first cursed star about 20 years after the fact. This valley of sweat and tears composes a still-virtuous world where chefs freeze their hands off while shelling 200 pounds of scallops, finely slicing salsify, and de-braining sparrows. Such work smacks of sacrificial punishment — the sadistic pleasure of spending hours peeling potatoes, eviscerating wild game, tenderizing marshmallow — a sacrifice offered up to a guidebook superego that, fortunately, is slightly on the decline these days. Luckily, a new cuisine has arrived, bringing more indulgence, more camaraderie, and more kindness, and leaving the great chefs alone with their damask-cotton conformism and the authoritarianism of their tasting menus. Hard work, talent, pain, and suffering belong as well to this strange world. One last question haunts these dream jobs and the constant one-upmanship of their efforts: why make prima donnas cry?
END
[Table of contents]
edito
by Olivier Zahm
mehdi belhaj kacem
by Mehdi Belhaj Kacem
eric troncy
by Éric Troncy
simon liberati
by Simon Liberati
anna dubosc
by Anna Dubosc
balenciaga by juergen teller
by Juergen Teller
cover #1 balenciaga
Read the article
camille henrot
by Donatien Grau
lionel bensemoun
by Olivier Zahm
gaspar noé
by Olivier Zahm
cover #2 saint laurent
Read the article
mathias kiss
by Olivier Zahm
best of the season by ola rindal
by Ola Rindal
cover #3 vetements
Read the article
amanda wall by olivier zahm
by Olivier Zahm
l’arpège/alain passard
by Emilien Crespo
serge gainsbourg
by Olivier Zahm
bob nickas
by Bob Nickas
louis vuitton by dario catellani
by Dario Catellani
cover #5 louis vuitton
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nicolas godin
by Olivier Zahm
françois simon
by François Simon
paris scene by kira bunse and maxime ballesteros
by Kira Bunse and Maxime Ballesteros
quai de seine by benedict brink
by Benedict Brink
prada by araki
by Araki
cover #6 prada
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olivier saillard
by Olivier Zahm
eva ionesco
by Olivier Zahm
gucci by martin parr
by Martin Parr
emanuele coccia
by Emanuele Coccia
berluti by andreas larsson
by Andreas Larsson
cover #10 berluti
Read the article
d’heygere
by Anne-Sophie Guillet
c a m import export
by François Simon
allegria torassa
by Olivier Zahm
givenchy by suffo moncloa
by Suffo Moncloa
cover #7 araki
Read the article
catherine malabou
by Catherine Malabou
cover #9 gucci
Read the article
miu miu by pierre-ange carlotti
by Pierre-Ange Carlotti
cover #8 gucci
Read the article
hôtel grand amour/andré
by Olivier Zahm
tatiana trouvé
by Donatien Grau
comme des garçons by paolo roversi
by Paolo Roversi
bottega veneta by andrea spotorno
by Andrea Spotorno
refettorio paris/jr
by Olivier Zahm
iñaki aizpitarte
by Emilien Crespo
le servan/tatiana levha
by Emilien Crespo
lara stone by katja rahlwes
By Katja Rahwels
kamel mennour
by Olivier Zahm
bernard-henri lévy
by Olivier Zahm
cover #11 givenchy
Read the article
la femme/marlon magnée
by Olivier Zahm
samuel françois by olivier zahm
by Olivier Zahm
cover #15 lara stone
Read the article
le serpent à plumes/vincent darré
by Bernard-Henri Lévy
cover #13 comme des garçons
Read the article
marine serre
by Oscar Heliani
debeaulieu/pierre banchereau
by Olivier Zahm
pierre marie
by Olivier Zahm
saint laurent by daido moriyama
by Daido Moriyama
quiet days in clichy by anders edström
by Anders Edström
cover #12 miu miu
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art (nouveau) by gianni oprandi
by Gianni Oprandi
chantal crousel
by Jérôme Sans and Olivier Zahm
the pinault collection/martin bethenod
by Olivier Zahm
cover #14 bottega veneta
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kapwani kiwanga
by Maurizio Cattelan and Marta Papini
john jefferson selve
by John Jefferson Selve
ariana reines
by Ariana Reines
daniel buren
by Jérôme Sans