Purple Magazine
— The Love Issue #34

true love

MANIFESTO

text by GLENN O’BRIEN
artwork by DAN COLEN

glenn o’brien, purple’s beloved new york based editor-at-large and mentor, died three years ago. for the love issue, his wife, gina nanni, shared a selection of his prose. much of it is unpublished

True Love is free.
True Love is expensive.
True Love is new every time.
True Love sometimes requires
a little lying.
True Love gets you where you want to go.
True Love lasts lifetimes.
True love is like a pizza
with everything …
except anchovies.
True Love lasts forever,
give or take a few.
True Love is stranger than fiction.
True Love beats playing the field.
True Love can’t be faked.
True Love helps you lay off
the donuts.
True Love turns Brooklyn to Paris,
and the subway into
the Orient Express.
True Love saved my life.
True Love is a permanent vacation.
True Love is all sunrises, sunsets,
and full moons.
True Love gets you out of bed
in the morning, and it gets
you into bed at night.

True Love is where all the big ideas come from.
True Love sneaks up on you.
True Love is like the common cold:
you catch it, and there’s
no cure.
True Love means you’re never
alone.
True Love will get you.
There’s no place to run to,
no place to hide.
True Love is a way of looking at
the world. A way of seeing,
feeling, thinking, and being.
True Love hurts like hell.
True Love beats working.
True Love is a team sport.
True Love makes you fuller
than full.
True Love makes you emptier than empty.
True Love knocks a few years
off you.
True Love improved my posture.
True Love is the only immortality.
True Love … freedom … slavery
… or both?

True Love turns the blues into
the pinks.
You don’t choose True Love.
It chooses you.
Without True Love, you’re lost. With True Love, you don’t care
you’re lost.
True Love is the same all over
the world. Weird.
True Love is like hearing a perfect
horn play a note. You don’t
have to know anything about
music. You just know it’s
perfect.
True Love is like hot sauce.
It spices up just about
everything.
True Love is in the kiss.
You can’t hide True Love.
You might as well not even try.
True Love is better than long
underwear.
True Love is like silk sheets
and cashmere blankets.
True Love is the secret force
behind evolution.
True Love gets truer as you get
older.

With True Love, you’re never alone.
True Love can make disagreements
agreeable.
True Love is impossible and
unavoidable.
True Love can’t be taught.
True Love has no artificial
ingredients.
True Love has a blind spot.
True Love is bigger than the birds
and the bees.
True Love is brave.
True Love, bread, and water.
True Love makes you invisible.
True Love makes you faster than
a speeding bullet and able
to leap tall buildings in a single
bound.
True love is organic.
True Love is shameless.
True Love grants you wishes.
True Love, heads or tails.
He True Loves me, He True Loves
me not, He True Loves me…
True Love isn’t jealous,
but it’s proud.
True Love is the end of
the ladies’ man.

True Love cries real tears.
True Love is the answer
and the question.
True Love was my alibi.
True Love tracked me down.
True Love showed me what
I look like.
True Love is chemical.
True Love is shockproof,
waterproof, and dustproof.
True Love has no calories.
With True Love, you don’t need
walkie-talkies.
True Love takes your breath away.
True Love makes your backbone
slip.
True Love, therefore I am.
True Love doesn’t take willpower
— it gives willpower.
True Love comes from another
planet.
True Love is a full-time job.
True Love is a form of amnesia.
True Love, and you never
come back.
True Love is easier for animals
because they don’t talk.

True Love is easier on a desert
island or a mountaintop.
True Love is like popcorn:
once you get started,
it’s hard to stop.
True Love came here from outer
space on a meteorite.
True Love? Wasn’t that the name
of the boat in Philadelphia
Story?
True Love is like a four-wheel-drive
vehicle. It’ll take you just about
anywhere, but you have to be
careful it doesn’t flip over.
True Love is harder to get than
money. You can’t borrow
True Love.
True Love is big news. Everybody
wants to know your business.
True Love can happen anywhere,
even in Las Vegas.
True Love speaks a private
language.
True Love is antigravity.
You can’t rehearse for it.
You can’t plan it. You can’t
make room for it on your
calendar.

It’s like getting knocked over
by a big wave. You get back
on your feet and boom,
you’re knocked over all over
again.
Usually when True Love strikes,
you have to go shopping.
Suddenly everything looks
different.
True Love has been eliminated
by the invention of
the telephone and
the television.
True Love lasts forever. Well,
it seems like forever.
My mother knows about
True Love. She’s had 300
boyfriends, and she’s been
married five times.
Is this a True Love or
False Love exam?
If you want to know about
True Love, ask your dog.
It understands the
unconditional part.
Is True Love different from
True Codependency?

Everyone experiences True Love
for 15 minutes.
People hire detectives to find out
if it’s True Love.
Scientists have proved that
True Love exists. It’s an
enzyme. Or a hormone
or something.
I learned about True Love growing
up watching Dynasty
and Knots Landing.
True Love? It’s a modern disease
like Jet Lag.
True Love? It’s a Madonna video
where she got a blonde butch
and the ugliest dress you’ve
ever seen.
True Love? Scientists around
the world are searching for
a cure.
True Love. For a lot of people,
it starts in the mirror.
True Love is the leading cause
of marriage and divorce
in America.
True Love is an oxymoron.
Like Smart Bomb. Or Young
Republican.

True Love doesn’t leave bruises
or marks.
True Love is an invention of
Bourgeois Capitalist Society.
In a Classless State,
it is replaced by Real
Comradeship.
True Love is a good reason to wear
a beeper.
The best thing about True Love is
that it’s not fattening.
True Love is a case of mistaken
identity.
If you’re dating several guys,
you have a greater chance of
experiencing the full range of
True Love.
True Love? I knew I forgot to do
something.
True Love is an invention of
Hollywood and the principal
cause of serial monogamy.
Most of my parents’ friends
have experienced it 10 times.

END

DAN COLEN, NO SEX NO WAR NO ME, 2006, ENAMEL AND MOLDING PASTE ON WOOD, 57 X 40 INCHES, COURTESY OF DAN COLEN STUDIO DAN COLEN, VISCERA, 2016-17, OIL ON CANVAS, 112 1/2 X 202 1/2 INCHES, INSTALLATION VIEW FROM NEWPORT STREET GALLERY

[Table of contents]

The Love Issue #34

Table of contents

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